Monday, April 24
funny when something you've waited for so long and anxiously came to you through a phone call, and the very next few minutes you're so glad that the call finally came and you want to tell and share about it to so many around you and then yet... somehow it wasn't entirely a good news to them and so the few moments of happiness just start to disappear altogether. then the question come, "who do i share this good news with?"you shrug back to your seat and you just ponder about what next. you struggled with your inner thoughts and inner inner thoughts about it and then you look at your future and there it appears a big question mark. it refers to a dilemma. misty white picture is all you see and sigh.. how you wished you would get out from it by just having an answer dropped from the sky along with assurance in front of you and then that's it. how you wished things would be just question and answer, this simple.
ok to be more cleared, the MOE call came and i'm going for the interview next wed. but here i'm sitting in front of this com, and i no longer feel as firm as i thought i should be about it anymore. you asked me, "what you going to do?"
but i think maybe i should just ask God,
"what you want me to do?"
and right now i'm still thinking, who do i want to share this news with..
Heli Dont ask me why 9:38 PM
Monday, April 17
after sometime, having lived through so much of current life.. hah.. just wish things around me would be like what they were in the past. A lot of things that has been given to me in life recently and i thought it was altogether so wonderful. But on the second thought, i looked back and i realised.. somethings i've left behind.so this idea about "jiu de bu qu, xing de bu lai" is it really true? must it really always be the case that we will lose something when we've gained something? I missed my past memories so much that give me a choice to choose my destination now, i really want to go back.. hui qu wo de cong qian.. wo men de cong qian.
So right now.. as i continue forward in my life, i feel like driving a bigger truck. it doesn't matter how obiang or how slow or what it maybe, i just want to load more of the things and people onto my truck and move on together with me in my life. i don't want to drop anyone of you. trust me when i say it wasn't and would never be my intention of letting go anyone of you. wo shi shuo zhen de. = zhi dao ma?
yet at the end of the day, who am i assuring? myself.
Heli Dont ask me why 7:51 PM
Tuesday, April 4
So long!Waaa i didn't realise it was that long since i last update something here. Had been doing something that was really mission impossible at first sight for the last 2 weeks - a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle. Finally finished it yesterday night, took about 50+ hours i guess.. everyday after work came home to see "sky" and to see "flower" till i think i was so paranoid about it, i closed my eyes i also see sunflower. [>.<]
just skies and flowers. -___-
and the people who made it possible. =)
Yup that occupies my past 2 weeks. i think for that last week alone, i slept only 30 odd hours. but its over. =)
Hmmm and ah, want to say sorry to many for neglecting them. =X
to my dear ny peeps, i haven't forget all of you kay! just been busy and ok lah not very good excuse.. hmmm sorry! will find time out for you all. =(
to cass ong: jie is busy but will make time for you kay. haha glad you called me that day. it was a precious 40+ mins talk to me from you. alright take care! =)
Been a while i blogged, lost touched in what to say and how to lay my words down hah. alright, good night! i miss many of you out there!
Heli Dont ask me why 8:39 PM
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.: Thoughts :.
I know i have to let you go..
Everyone tells me this is so...
See, my life has stopped since
You passed away
Sometimes i can't bear it
Even for one more day..
Thoughts of you consume me
Every second of everyday
I just want it back you know
The way things used to be...
In my life you held the key
And now i have just your memory
And though this is not enough for me
This is how it has to be...
I need to laugh again without feeling guilty
You aren't here...
I feel so alone & full of tear
It's so terribly hard when all that's
Left is tears...
Mum, i wish you are here
Just plainly listening to me...
I promise to keep you safe
Where you have always been of course
In my heart, that's the place...